Chapter 17: A Bird Swooping Down

Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 17: A Bird Swooping Down

Zu An was ‘horrified’. “You were the culprit? I have no grudge with you, so why must you harm me so?!”

Plum Blossom Twelve replied with a cold sneer, “You only have yourself to blame for offending someone whom you shouldn’t have.”

“Who did I offend?” Zu An asked anxiously.

Plum Blossom Twelve stepped on his back and smacked his face with his dagger. “You don’t need to know that. Why don’t you ask King Yama once you reach the underworld instead?”

Zu An was a little surprised by the remark. This world actually had the concepts of King Yama and the underworld too?

“The Chu clan will never let you off if you dare to kill me!” Zu An asked probingly. He wanted to check if the culprit was a member of the Chu clan.

“Ahhh, I’m so scared~” Plum Blosson Twelve patted his heart in with an exaggerated look of fright. “We’re in the wilderness, and your corpse will never be found. No one will know how you died.”

At this point, Plum Blossom Twelve paused for a brief moment before continuing on, “However, it’s good that you have reminded me so. It’s better to be safe than sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t make a move on you myself. I shall toss you into the Wolf Valley and have the Assrip Wolves devour every last bit of your body. By then, not even the Chu clan will be able to trace the matter to me!”

Zu An was a little surprised. Judging from the tone, it seemed like the culprit behind this matter wasn’t someone from the Chu clan?

“Ah, do you know why they are called the Assrip Wolves?” Plum Blossom Twelve asked with a sinister smile. Before Zu An could reply, he had already given the answer away. “That’s because they are skilled in tearing one’s ass apart. They don’t kill their prey right away. You’ll be forced to watch helplessly as they tear your intestines out and gnaw at you bit by bit. I wonder just how painful that would be.”

Zu An was perplexed. What was the point of saying all of this now? Did Plum Blossom Twelve have some sort of torture or gore fetish?

Plum Blossom Twelve thought that Zu An had gone utterly silent out of fear, so he paid no heed to it. He continued his monologue gleefully, as everything was under his control. “However, if you could answer some questions of mine, I can consider granting you a quick death so that you won’t have to go through such pain.”

“What questions?” Zu An asked. Could it be that the owner of this body had found out some shocking secret, which prompted others to send assassins after him?

Plum Blossom Twelve squatted down and looked at Zu An with a bizarre smile on his face. “How big is the First Miss of the Chu clan?”

Zu An: “???”

He had thought of all sorts of possible questions that Plum Blossom Twelve could ask, but who could have thought that it would be this?

“Around this big.” Zu An portrayed it casually with his hands. He might not have seen it before, but it was not as if Plum Blossom Twelve would know better.

“What about her waist? How slender is it?”

“Around this size, I think?” Zu An was already starting to lose his patience. If he couldn’t obtain any more intelligence out of the other party, he couldn’t be bothered to waste time here with him anymore.

“What about down there? How does she sound? Holy shit, I’m getting hard just thinking about it!” Plum Blossom Twelve felt his throat turning parched from the heat. He pulled down his pants and ordered, “Come, suck on it!”

It was impossible for him to have a taste of the First Miss of the Chu clan in his entire life anyway, so he might as well have a taste of her through this indirect method.

Zu An: “???”

He was planning on sounding Plum Blossom Twelve out so that he could uncover the identities of his enemies. Yet, this fellow was far more perverted than he had thought!

Unable to stand it anymore, the darkened-faced Zu An grabbed the dagger from the other party’s hands, and without any hesitation, he sliced away the root of all evil.

“AHHHH!” Plum Blossom Twelve was too distracted to put up his defenses in time. With a shriek of agony, he grabbed his crotch and rolled all over the ground. Then, he knocked his head on a tree and lost consciousness.

Plum Blossom Twelve had a very long dream. In the dream, he saw his sect leader sending him into the royal palace as a eunuch. He was first pinned down onto the table and was severed of his manhood before being tossed into a room. He was locked up for several days straight, not given any food or drink. His throat was so parched that he felt like he was going to die of thirst.

Perhaps it was because heaven had heard his pleading, the sky actually started raining. The rain felt warm to the touch, and it had a delectable saltiness to it.

He greedily slurped it up, only to swiftly realize that something was amiss. He immediately opened his eyes and found himself tied to a tree. He tried his best to struggle the rope off him, but it wasn’t budging at all. It was then that he noticed that the rope was no ordinary tool. It was prepared specially to deal with low-level cultivators like him.

What’s going on here?

For a moment there, Plum Blossom Twelve was dumbfounded. Wasn’t he in the midst of bringing that useless trash Zu An over to the Wolf Valley? He suddenly noticed that his face was a little wet, so he subconsciously licked it. It was the same taste as what he drank in his dream.

By the side of the tree, Zu An pulled up his pants and apologized, “My bad. You simply wouldn’t wake up, and I couldn’t find any water around to splash you awake with. So, I can only make use of what I have. It has been a bit too hot the last two days, so it ended up being a little yellowish.”

After hearing those words, how could Plum Blossom Twelve still not know what the liquid on his face was? He could still remember how he drank several mouthfuls of it in his dream, as his body shuddered in sheer horror. “Bloody hell!”

You have successfully trolled Plum Blosson Twelve for +777 Rage!

“Bro, it looks like the weather is getting to you too.” Zu An felt his heart flowering. This was such a good opportunity for him to earn some Rage points. As a keyboard warrior, he would be embarrassed if he failed to exploit this opportunity to its fullest!

Plum Blossom Twelve bellowed angrily, “How dare you tie me up? Hurry up and release me!”

Zu An leaped down from the fallen tree trunk he was standing on. “Have you forgotten what happened earlier?”

Plum Blossom Twelve was taken aback as he quickly recounted the chain of affairs. I was stepping on this lad earlier, wanting him to give me a… It was at this moment that he hurriedly lowered his head to take a look, only to see a bloodied mess on his crotch. Even though the flow of blood had already been stopped, what should have been there was no longer there! He let out a miserable cry and exclaimed, “Where did it go?!”

His furious howl caused his wounds to rupture open once more, causing blood to spurt out from his crotch.

Zu An was really impressed by just how resilient the constitution of cultivators was. Had it been in his previous world, a man who suffered such an injury should have already died from excessive blood loss by now. Yet, Plum Blossom Twelve was actually able to last this long.

Zu An dug his ears casually, irritated by the sudden howl from Plum Blossom Twelve. He pointed to the long bamboo pole not too far away. There was a thin thread hanging at the end of the bamboo pole, and a bloodied finger-like object was tied to it. “There. Your treasure is right there.” 

“You bastard! You dared to assault me!” Recalling everything that just happened, Plum Blossom Twelve realized that he had been done in.

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +999 Rage!

It seems like men, regardless of which world they are from, are extremely concerned about their treasure. Zu An thought after seeing the unprecedentedly huge influx of Rage points.

“You are cultivator too?” Plum Blossom Twelve calmed down a little and asked.

Even if he was caught off guard, there was no way an ordinary mortal could have snatched his dagger away just like that.

Thinking about the immense strength Zu An had exerted back then, it would appear that Zu An’s cultivation level was even higher than his. But how could this be? That man was clearly completely powerless before him two days back!

“I’m the one doing the questioning here, not you.” Zu An patted the dagger against Plum Blossom Twelve’s mouth. “Speak! Who’s the one who ordered you to kill me?”

Plum Blossom Twelve didn’t expect the tables to be turned on him so quickly. However, he was still in a fit of rage, so he turned his head sideward, refusing to say anything at all.

“You don’t want to speak, huh?” Zu An didn’t lose his temper because of Plum Blossom Twelve’s reaction. Instead, he picked up the bamboo pole by the side and dangled the finger-like object in front of Plum Blossom Twelve. “Actually, having it severed is not as severe as you think. If you treat it in time, you might just be able to reattach it. However, if you delay for too long, the cells will slowly die out… By then, even a deity wouldn’t be able to save you anymore!”

At least, that was the case in his previous life. Considering that this was the world of cultivation, where all sorts of supernatural powers existed, it should be possible to do the same here too.

Plum Blossom Twelve was persuaded by Zu An’s words. Spirit returned back to his despaired eyes as he asked, “Will you really let me go if I speak?”

“I’ll consider it,” Zu An replied.

Plum Blossom Twelve harrumphed coldly. He was usually the one doing the threatening, so how could he possibly not know how the story usually went?

Zu An shrugged casually. “You won’t stand a chance at all if you don’t talk at all. If you talk, there might still be a chance. You can choose for yourself.”

“It’s an order from my sect leader,” Plum Blossom Twelve replied.

“What’s your sect leader’s name?” Zu An asked.

Plum Blossom Twelve hesitated a little. He scanned his surroundings warily, and after confirming that there was no one around, he finally replied, “The name of my sect leader is Mei Chaofeng.”

Paying heed to Plum Blossom Twelve’s actions, Zu An figured that the other party must be rather afraid of his sect leader. Wait a moment, Mei Chaofeng?

“It can’t be that your sect leader is a blind woman, right?” Zu An gulped down a mouthful of saliva.

“Huh? Of course not.” Plum Blossom Twelve replied in confusion. He had no idea why Zu An would suddenly ask such a question. “Our sect leader is a man through and through.”

After verifying a few more details, Zu An was able to ascertain that the so-called sect leader wasn’t the same person he was thinking of. Zu An ran through his memories, but he didn’t have any impression of the sect leader of the Plum Blossom Sect. So, he asked, “Why does your sect leader want to kill me?”

Plum Blossom Twelve’s eyes swam around a little. “There’s no way mere underlings like us can fathom the thoughts of the sect leader.”

Zu An sneered coldly. “You want to play games with me?” He grabbed the bamboo pole and made an action of tossing it toward the valley.

“W-wait, Wait! I remember it now!” Plum Blossom Twelve exclaimed in anxiety. “A mysterious person dropped by to look for our sect leader one day. Our sect leader brought him into his private chamber, and they had a long chat with one another. Right after that, he issued the order for me to get rid of you.”

“Who’s that mysterious person?”

“I wouldn’t be calling him a mysterious person if I knew!”

Zu An scoffed coldly in response. “It looks like you need to learn a lesson before you’re willing to talk, huh?”

Plum Blossom Twelve hurriedly exclaimed, “I really don’t know who that person is! That person was covered wearing a black bamboo hat that veiled his entire body. I don’t even know if that person is a guy or a girl, let alone his identity!”

Seeing that Plum Blossom Twelve was already on the verge of tears, Zu An figured that he was likely telling the truth. So, he decided to switch to another question, “What’s the current situation in your Plum Blossom Sect?”

After some questioning, Zu An finally got a rough grasp of the situation. The Plum Blossom Sect was the biggest underground sect in Brightmoon City. The sect leader was Mei Chaofeng, and he had 13 godsons. They were named Plum Blossom One all the way to Plum Blosson Thirteen, and those in the pugilistic world knew them as the Thirteen Guardians of Plum Blossom. 

The Plum Blossom Sect controlled most of the underground businesses of Brightmoon City, and their greatest source of income stemmed from the protection fee they imposed on businesses and the casinos they operated.

After divulging the abilities of the Thirteen Guardians of Plum Blossom, Plum Blossom Twelve finally asked, “Can you return my treasure back to me now?” His eyes had never left the thing hanging on the bamboo pole all this while, not even for a moment. Once I recover from this, I’ll crush this bastard’s jewels and feed it to the dogs. After that, I’ll mince him bit by bit until my anger finally quells!

On the other hand, Zu An watched the notifications that kept popping up “You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +9 +9 +9 +9…”, and he was extremely delighted. It looked like this fellow really carried a deep grudge against him.

“Forget it, I’ll give it back to you.”

He felt uncomfortable holding it even if it was via a bamboo pole. So, he quickly took it over to Plum Blossom Twelve’s side.

It was then that a black silhouette suddenly swooped down. There was the sound of flapping wings before the thing that was hanging at the end of the bamboo pole disappeared without a trace.

Zu An turned to look at the massive black bird that had just perched on a nearby tree branch. It looked a little like a crow, but it was much larger than that. There was a worm-like object hanging between its beak at the moment… What else could it be other than Plum Blossom Twelve’s treasure?

The crow looked at the two men below gleefully before tilting its head upward and swallowing the ‘worm’ down into its stomach.

“NOOOOO!” Plum Blossom Twelve cried in horror. The crow was appalled by the screams and hurriedly flew away.

Zu An: “…”

Plum Blossom Twelve: “…”

Previous Chapter Next Chapter