Chapter 22: There’s Poison In Its Shit

Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 22: There’s Poison In Its Shit

Upon receiving the orders, the Assrip Wolves finally recovered their senses and changed their strategy. Aside from leaving some targets in front to distract the Crazy Rhino, the rest of the pack circled to its back to bite down on its ass.

This left the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino seething in rage. Why is everyone attacking my ass today?!?! The Crazy Rhino was blessed with tough coppery skin which the Assrip Wolves couldn’t bite through even if it were to stand still. However, there was no way its ass could have the same defensive prowess as the rest of its body. It was no exaggeration to say that it was its softest part of its entire body.

The Crazy Rhino tried its best to ram these disgusting wolves down, but its agility was simply too low as compared to these Assrip Wolves. Every single one of its charges landed empty. After dozens of attempts, it was left panting heavily, and its head was spinning from overexertion.

Meanwhile, the Assrip Wolves realized that the time was ripe for a counterattack. Thus, from probing the enemy, they began launching an all-out attack against the Crazy Rhino’s ass.

This panicked the Crazy Rhino. I really shouldn’t have come to this darned place. It’s all that damned human’s fault!

You have successfully trolled Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino for +2 +2 +2 +2… 

As furious as it was, it wouldn’t hesitate to run when it was the time to do so. It immediately turned tail and began charging out of the den. However, there was no way the Assrip Wolves would let several days of meal that was already delivered to their doorstep get away. They swiftly rushed forward to block its path.

Ji Xiaoxi had been spectating the fight from the top of the slope, and she couldn’t help but feel that the Crazy Rhino was a little pitiful. “The Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino is simply at far too much of a disadvantage against the Assrip Wolves. If it was any other wild beasts with higher offensive prowess and agility, the Assrip Wolves would have definitely not been a match.”

“Didn’t that Crazy Rhino bully you earlier? I’ll take revenge for you.” Zu An spewed out a lie without any hesitation.

“But it’s so pitiful!” Ji Xiaoxi exclaimed. “It looks like it won’t last long. Should we save it?”

Zu An quickly grabbed her arm to stop her from doing anything. There were two things in his mind right now, ‘Ji Xiaoxi really has too much sympathy in her that she’ll definitely get exploited by people in the future’ and ‘Wow, her arm is so soft’. “Don’t worry, it won’t die that easily. Just continue watching.” 

Ji Xiaoxi was skeptical of what Zu An had just said, but she decided to continue watching the scene. To her surprise, an unexpected change occurred to the battlefield.

An exceptionally well-built wolf finally found an opening to bite down on the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino’s ass. Gleeful at its success, it was planning to rip out its intestines just like how it usually dealt with its other prey. Yet, its body suddenly shuddered and it fell still on the ground.

And soon, there was a second victim, a third victim, a fourth victim… 

It took the deaths of over 20 Assrip Wolves before the pack finally noticed that something was amiss. They quickly backed away fearfully from the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino.

In the language of the wolves:

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know either!”

“I know!”

“What?”

“That fellow’s shit is poisoned!”

… 

The leader of the Assrip Wolves was infuriated. “Think about how much shit we have eaten over the years! When have we ever been poisoned before? That big oaf must possess some ability that we don’t know of. Be careful, everyone!”

The Assrip Wolves finally put their heart at ease. It was far beyond their common sense that a living being’s shit could be poisoned. If so, they would never be able to hunt their prey down at ease anymore!

The Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino also noticed the twist in the situation. Could it be that my ass possesses some powers that I don’t know of? But Mama never told me about this though?

Realizing that the arrogant Assrip Wolves were starting to steer clear of his ass, the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino, from its initial defensive stance, began to flaunt its ass in front of them. If it could speak, it would probably be shouting ‘Come and get a taste of my ass if you dare!’.

Zu An saw the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino provoking those Assrip Wolves, and he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. “I didn’t think that that fellow would be so immodest.”

On the other hand, Ji Xiaoxi’s face blushed completely red. This was a sight that was hard to watch for a demure woman like her. She turned her head to the other side, but she was still unable to suppress her curiosity. “How did you do it? Was it that dagger?”

Zu An nodded. “I applied a deadly poison on the dagger’s blade. When the Assrip Wolves bit down on the Crazy Rhino’s rear, the blade nicked and poisoned them.” He wasn’t willing to reveal the true secret behind the Poisonous Prick, so he found a passable excuse instead.

“I see.” Ji Xiaoxi nodded. Despite so, she wondered just what kind of poison in the world could last for so long. After all, there was only so much poison that one could coat on the tip of a dagger. It shouldn’t have been enough to kill over 20 Assrip Wolves, no matter how potent the poison was. 

Back in the Wolf Valley, the Assrip Wolves were completely infuriated by the provocations of the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino. They dashed forward to bite down on its rear, but unfortunately, every time they sank their fangs into the latter’s ass, the Poisonous Prick would take effect, causing more and more Assrip Wolves to lose their lives.

“Ohhhhh~”

Initially, the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino was still in great pain by having a foreign object stabbed into its rear. But over time, it found itself slowly getting used to it, such that it was no longer that painful anymore. Furthermore, each time the Assrip Wolves bit down on the dagger, the dagger would vibrate in his body, inducing spasms of pleasure through its body. A new set of doors were opening right before its eyes.

This time around, the Assrip Wolves were really panicked. They backed away fearfully as they quickly discussed with one another.

“That fellow’s shit is really poisoned!”

The leader of the Assrip Wolves: “How could shit possibly be poisoned? Are you denying the experience and traditions of our tribe for over the past thousand years?”

“Why don’t you go and have a taste then!” An Assrip Wolf that was usually at loggerheads howled at the leader. Its size was nearly on par with the leader.

“Fine, I’ll go then!”

The leader of the Assrip Wolves knew that the other party had been coveting his position. It took notice of the frightened expression of its subordinates, which made it realize that its standing and prestige would be shaken at this rate. Thus, it decided to make a move personally so as to instill confidence in its leadership once more.

Thus, it began prowling around the rear of the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino, and when it finally found an opportune moment, it darted forward with speed as swift as lightning. From experience, it knew that this was it. With a quick rip, it would be able to pull the intestines of the Crazy Rhino out and bring about its death.

It was then that the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino’s body suddenly froze up. Due to its rear being jammed up for too long, as well as the intense battle causing a lot of putrid gases to accumulate in its stomach, its abdomen began wiggling about. Then, with a prolonged ‘Poooooot~’, the Crazy Rhino released a massive and resounding fart that caused all of the shit that had been piling up inside to spill out. Naturally, the dagger that was previously lodged inside was pushed out too.

As a result, the leader of the Assrip Wolves found itself smeared in shit. It was just about to lose its temper and launch a devastating attack when its body suddenly stiffened, and it fell to the ground dead.

As it turned out, while the dagger that was jolted out wasn’t strong enough to inflict a lethal wound on the leader of the Assrip Wolves, it did leave a small nick on its face that eventually took away its life.

You have successfully trolled Assrip Wolf King for +10 Rage! 

“Its shit is really poisoned!”

“Our king has died from shit!”

… 

All of the other Assrip Wolves were scared out of their wits. Faced with such a situation, they quickly scattered and fled toward the mountain forest.

Meanwhile, the Red-Eyes Crazy Rhino shook its head. It had no idea what was happening, but having come so close to death by the encirclement of the Assrip Wolves had really shaken it up badly. So, it quickly fled from the scene shakily. It was in no mood to find the earlier human to exact vengeance anymore.

As a result, peace returned back to the valley. Zu An slid down the slope first before opening his arms wide, saying, “Xiaoxi, be careful. I’ll catch you.”

Ji Xiaoxi shook her head and replied, “There’s no need for that.”

With a flip of her body, she landed gracefully in the valley. It was a performance far more spectacular than what Zu An did earlier.

It was only then that Zu An suddenly remembered that Ji Xiaoxi’s cultivation was higher than him, and he scratched his head sheepishly. He quickly ran to the middle of the battlefield and picked up the Poisonous Prick.

It was fortunate that the Crazy Rhino had shot it out, or else he would have to use the Poison Bottle to knock it out so that he could retrieve it.

“Argh, this smell!”

Even though the Poisonous Prick was wrapped around in a handkerchief, there was still a frighteningly putrid smell coming from it. Zu An took out his water bottle and washed it again and again before finally keeping it.

Ji Xiaoxi was intending to take a look to see just what kind of formidable poison the dagger was coated with, but when Zu An kept it, she found herself a little too embarrassed to ask about it. In her view, everyone had their own secrets to survive in this world, and it seemed a little insensitive of her to ask about such a private matter.

Zu An, on the other hand, thought that Ji Xiaoxi’s hesitation was due to another reason. He picked up the handkerchief on the ground by the corner and passed it to her, “Here, I’ll give this back to you. You can try washing it and see if it’s still usable.”

Looking at the yellowish stains covering the entire handkerchief, as well as the horrendous smell coming from it, Ji Xiaoxi froze in place. “…”

You have successfully trolled Ji Xiaoxi for +1! 

Zu An was amused by her response. This lady sure has a good temper. Even with this, her Rage is still only 1. It looks like she’s the kind to never get angry at anyone.

“You can toss it away. I don’t want it anymore.” Ji Xiaoxi forced out a smile as she spoke. She noticed the other party looking at her with an earnest look, which made her feel guilty about it instead.

Zu An casually tossed the handkerchief to the side and said, “I’ll buy you a new one.”

He didn’t want to keep the handkerchief either. Even the thought of washing it was enough to disgust him.

Ji Xiaoxi nodded casually, clearly thinking nothing about it. She looked at the corpses of the Assrip Wolves around and said, “Let’s quickly look around to see if there’s any goubaos around. It’ll be troublesome if the wolf pack returns.”

“Don’t worry, those Assrip Wolves have already lost their guts from the earlier incident. I reckon that they won’t be back anytime soon,” Zu An said. 

Little did he know that those Assrip Wolves had begun doubting their own existence due to this incident. For the next few months to come, they no longer dared to target their target’s ass anymore, and that nearly led to their extinction.

Zu An still immediately got to work. He tore open the stomachs of the Assrip Wolves one after another, and in the end, he managed to collect a total of 12 goubaos, including the one he originally had.

It was just a pity that there wasn’t any demonic core of that sort of stuff. He had read a lot of novels regarding transmigration in his previous world, so he was still looking forward to obtaining some sort of special reward. However, there was nothing to be found even after searching through the carcass of the pack’s leader several times.

“You’re truly formidable. You managed to kill so many Assrip Wolves,” Ji Xiaoxi remarked in admiration.

“Hahaha, you’re flattering me.” Despite Zu An’s humble words, his expression was saying ‘praise me more, praise me more’.

Seeing as Zu An stowed the goubaos away, Ji Xiaoxi hesitated for a long while before speaking up, “I have a request to ask of you. I know that it might be unreasonable, but I would still like to try asking.”

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