Chapter 26: A Goddamned Question

Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 26: A Goddamned Question

Zu An had no idea how long the medicine could last for. Once these bandits recovered from the poison, the tables would surely be turned on him. Naturally, he had to eliminate all danger before then.

He felt that he was already kind enough to not torture them like some of those twisted protagonists in the novels he had read in his previous life.

Ji Xiaoxi remembered the licentious looks those bandits had directed toward her earlier, and she knew deep down that what Zu An said made perfect sense. So, she held herself back from persuading him anymore.

Zu An moved on to the next person. That person shot a glance at his two dead companions before bringing out his spunk and bellowing, “Kill me if you want to! Cut that hypocritical crap of what giving us a chance for survival! We’re all bandits, so none of us knows how to play any instruments!”

Those words brought a knit between Zu An’s eyebrows. “Is that so? Alright, I’ll switch to another question then. It’s a common sense question that any human should be able to give an answer to.”

The bandit didn’t expect Zu An to suddenly change his questioning style. A hint of delight flickered across his eyes as he said, “Fine, ask ahead.”

Zu An pointed to his own face and asked, “Am I handsome?”

The bandit immediately replied, “Definitely! I’ve never seen a man as handsome as you. You’re the most handsome man in Brightmoon… Ah, no, it should be the most handsome man in the entire world! Even the elven princes will kill themselves out of embarrassment in your presence! Err… Yes, and even the what number one beauty of the capital, Madame Yu, will ovulate right in your presence. Heh, even she wouldn’t be worthy of you…”

Given the current circumstances, even if Zu An had the appearance of an Assrip Wolf, the bandit would have still buttered him up to high heaven.

His other bandit companions shot him looks of sympathy, thinking that it must have been hard for him to come up with all of these phrases to bootlick on him. 

Flames of anger burned in the eyes of the Yu Clan’s guards. After witnessing Zu An’s cruelty, they dared not to direct their rage toward him anymore. So, they could only shoot death glares at that bandit who just uttered those insolent words about their matriarch.

You have successfully trolled Yu Yanluo for +99 Rage!

Zu An felt a little entertained. This was the first time he was receiving Rage points from Madame Yu. It looked like this bandit had really gone overboard with his bootlicking.

Seeing the smile on Zu An’s face, the bandit was overjoyed. He quickly asked, “Is my answer satisfactory to you?”

“You know too much.” Without any hesitation, Zu An moved his dagger and ended his life.

You have successfully trolled the bandits of the Blackwind Stockade for +666 Rage!

The Yu clan’s guards were dumbstruck. Such a flippant reason works too?


Slight laughter sounded from the carriage, and it was swiftly muffled. Everything reverted back to silence.

Zu An moved on to the fourth bandit and asked, “Same question. Am I handsome?”

That bandit’s eyes swam around the place. The tragic fate that befell the bootlicker was still fresh in his mind. “You are ugly, but you are overflowing with masculini…”

Before he could finish his sentence, Zu An had already sliced his throat. “You must be blind.”

You have successfully trolled the bandits of the Blackwind Stockade for +666 Rage!

He moved on to the fifth bandit and asked the same question once more.

Seeing how the other two had died regardless of whether they gave a positive answer or a negative answer, this bandit nearly peed his pants when he saw Zu An standing right before him. With a voice quivering in fear, he replied, “I… I don’t know…”

Zu An made a quick job out of him. He sighed deeply and remarked, “What’s the point of living in this world when you don’t even know something like this?”

You have successfully trolled the bandits of the Blackwind Stockade for +666 Rage!


Moving from one bandit to the next, it was finally the leader Bao Gang’s turn. “Yes, it’s your turn.”

Bao Gang harrumphed coldly. “I’m going to die no matter what I say. You’re the one who calls the shots anyway. Since that’s the case, why bother putting up this farce? Just kill me then. However, I can assure you that my two brothers will avenge me. They’ll surely tear you into countless pieces!”

Zu An nodded his head contemplatively before replying with a sigh, “You’re right. I did go a bit too far earlier.”

Bao Gang would have cried if not for his final sliver of rationality holding him back. A bit too far? You nearly made me crap in my pants!

“How about we do this then? I’ll give you a question that has a standard answer. As long as you get it right, I promise that I’ll release you,” Zu An said.

“Are you serious about that?” Even though Bao Gang knew that it was unlikely for such a thing to occur, his instincts for survival still compelled him to go along with Zu An’s game. After all, it was great just to be alive. He could plunder people’s money and sleep with other people’s wives. Once he was dead, there would be none of these anymore.

Zu An nodded and replied, “Of course it’s real. This question definitely has a standard answer. If you have any objections to my verdict afterward, I’ll even tell you the correct answer so that you can die in peace.”

Bao Gang gritted his teeth. “Ask your question.”

Zu An said, “‘To sit before a feast of 300 lychees every day’, what’s the next line after this?” Heh, there’s no way you can possibly answer this ancient poem that came from Earth.

Yet, Bao Gang’s eyes lit up in delight. “I know, I know! The next line is ‘A lifetime I shall be a Lingnan man’.”

Zu An was stunned. He did feel that the culture in this world was very similar to that of his previous world, but he didn’t think that they would share the same ancient poems too. Didn’t that mean that he couldn’t plagiarize poems like how other transmigrators did to flaunt his literary talent?

“Wrong!” The livid-faced Zu An raised his dagger and prepared to plunge it right into Bao Gang.

Bao Gang immediately screeched in indignance. “Impossible, I have heard of that poem before! ‘A world of eternal spring beneath Mount Luofu, loquats and bayberries harvested fresh. To sit before a feast of 300 lychees every day, a lifetime I shall be a Lingnan man!’ I definitely got it right! Why don’t you tell me how I’m wrong then?”

Zu An sneered coldly, “The next line is clearly ‘A year I shall eat 109500 lychees’! This is a mathematics question, not a poetry question!” Then, he raised his dagger up high and plunged it down.

“You swindling bastard!”

You have successfully trolled Bao Gang for +1000 Rage!

Zu An wiped off the blood on the dagger on his body before exhaling deeply. “Now you know.”


The Yu clan’s guards swallowed their saliva. Did we scold this fellow earlier on too? Shit, we’re goners!

However, Zu An didn’t pay any heed to them. Instead, he began ransacking the corpses of Bao Gang and the other bandits.

The curious Ji Xiaoxi stepped forward and asked, “Big brother Zu, are you trying to find their tokens to verify their identity?”

Zu An shook his head and replied, “Why would I do that? I’m checking if there’s anything valuable on them… Goddamnit, how is that they don’t even have a single copper coin?!”

Ji Xiaoxi: “…”

The crowd from the Yu clan: “…”

Ji Xiaoxi explained weakly, “These bandits are out to plunder. I don’t think that they would bring their money out with them.”

Zu An thought that those words made perfect sense, but he still felt an ache in his heart. After all the trouble he had been through and wasting a Poison Bottle, he got nothing in return.

What? You are asking about the Rage that they had provided me? Heh, can Rage be eaten as food? It isn’t an accepted currency in this world!

All of a sudden, Zu An noticed the shivering guards behind him. He quickly put on what he thought to be a kind smile and asked, “I think it’s only fair for me to pose a question to the rest of you too. Now that I’ve saved your lives, how do you intend to repay me?”

The crowd from the Yu clan felt their souls leaving their bodies. They had seen the tragic fate that had fallen on the bandits of the Blackwind Stockade, and it had left a huge trauma on them too. Just hearing the word ‘question’ was enough to make them shiver reflexively.

“Young hero, thank you for reaching out a helping hand to us and saving our lives. I am willing to offer you 10,000 gold taels as compensation for your help. May I know if such an arrangement is to your satisfaction?” A feminine voice sounded from the carriage, which had been silent all this while.

A graceful hand parted the door curtains, and an absolutely gorgeous woman slowly made her way out from within.

Zu An believed that he had a high level of resistance against beautiful women. After all, what kind of beauties had he never seen before in movies, dramas, and all sorts of internet videos in his previous life?

Be it Chinese, European, American, or even 2D, he felt that he had already seen everything in the world through his daily swiping of Tiktok videos. As such, he didn’t think that the title of ‘number one beauty of the capital’ was really anything worthy of note. He felt that it was just a title that a group of countryside bumpkin who didn’t know what true beauty was came up with.

However, at this very moment, he realized that he was sorely mistaken about it. No matter how many beauties he had seen through his handphone screen, nothing beat the powerful visual impact of seeing one in real life.

The lady that was alighting the carriage had skin so tender that even young girls couldn’t compare with. It felt like her skin was covered in a thin layer of milk, making it both smooth and soft to the touch. Her eyes seemed to reflect the countless stars in the sky, giving off a brilliance that drew people in.

Her face was impeccable without any flaws, and she had a long neck that accentuated her grace. Her hair, which was carefully arranged into the shape of a bun, brought out a mature air in her.

Zu An’s eyes slowly moved downward and went over her shapely breasts. Her white dress was slightly tightened around her waistline, which brought focus to her slender waist. The curvature from her hip to her waist was so perfect that it made one salivate.

Even Ji Xiaoxi couldn’t help but feel a sense of inferiority in front of her. Even though those around her always complimented her beauty, she felt that she came nowhere close to matching the mature and elegant disposition that Madame Yu commanded.

“Do I look good?” Despite Zu An’s rude, assessing gaze, Madame Yu didn’t lose her temper. Instead, a gentle smile formed on her lips.

“Yes, you look good,” Zu An replied with a nod. “I thought that I was the best-looking person in this world, but you are just a tier beneath me.”


Ji Xiaoxi failed to curb herself and burst into laughter. The gloomy feeling inside her was swept away in an instant.

Yu Yanluo was equally taken aback too. She was used to receiving looks of wonderment from men when they saw her, but none of them acted so… so naturally.

“You’re an interesting person,” Yu Yanluo chuckled beneath her hand. Her laughter felt warm, like the onset of spring that banished the frost and bloomed the flowers. “What’s your name? You identified yourself as Cheng Shouping, but that lady over there address you as big brother Zu. I believe the latter should be your real name, right?”

“I don’t have the habit of giving my name away after doing a good deed,” Zu An replied with a shake of his head. He gave away Cheng Shouping’s name in order for the latter to carry the blame for whatever he was going to do next. He was currently in a precarious situation in the Chu clan, and until he finally made sense of everything, he didn’t want others to know that he wasn’t as helpless as others thought him out to be.

Yu Yanluo looked at the bandit corpses that Zu An ransacked earlier, and her lips curled up charmingly. “But I don’t have that much money with me now. If you don’t tell me your name, how am I going to compensate you what you deserve?”

Zu An scratched his head in frustration, conflicted over this matter too. But in the end, he still succumbed to the temptation of money. He grabbed Yu Yanluo’s hand and pulled her to one side, “Come with me for a moment!”

Yu Yanluo glanced at the hand that was grabbing her wrist, and a cold glint flashed across her eyes. But in the end, she still chose not to say anything.

Meanwhile, the eyes of the Yu clan’s guards were nearly bulging out from shock. They knew that their matriarch hated coming into contact with any men, but she actually allowed him to grab her without saying anything?

Some of them thought of bellowing at the impudent man to have him let go of their matriarch, but just recalling the tragic plight that had happened to the bandits lying all around robbed them of their courage to do so.

Zu An pulled Yu Yanluo to a remote corner before he began speaking. “First, allow me to clarify myself. I’m not saying this for the sake of the 10,000 gold taels…”

But before he could finish his words, Yu Yanluo shot a glance at his hand and interjected, “Can you let go of my hand first?”

Previous Chapter Next Chapter