Unruly Phoenix Xiaoyao

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Ji Yunshu was an outstanding anthropologist who was transmigrated into the body of a mistreated young girl. To survive in her new circumstances, she could only rely on her wits and the knowledge she had accumulated in her...

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Including the thirty-six barracks in the capital and the additional deployed troops, there were two hundred and forty thousand men. But despite the huge number, the troops were defeated by the Northern Hu and rebel forces. Only the thirty thousand troops that Xu Jing brought had managed to hold up Xiyuan City, giving Ning Xiaoyao’s troops another chance to escape back to the capital.

“Were there two hundred and forty thousand or twenty-four men?” Prince Fu paced around the Supreme Splendor Hall and brandished the military report as he shouted at Ning Xiaoyao. Prince Fu had been shouting for the past few days so his throat was beginning to turn hoarse.

Ning Xiaoyao snatched the military report from Prince Fu and tore it into pieces, “The soldiers are terrified. Put all the blame on me.” 

Prince Fu wanted to scream but he stopped himself again. He couldn’t really put all the blame on His Majesty ah.

“Uncle ah, you should go.” Ning Xiaoyao said for the (n+1)th time to Prince Fu, “If you don’t leave now, you won’t be able to leave anymore.”

Prince Fu pulled a chair and sat in front of Ning Xiaoyao. He stared straight into her eyes, “Lou Zigui would definitely bring the Black Frost Cavalry to the capital to rescue Your Majesty?” 

“Yes ah,” Ning Xiaoyao nodded.

“You should think about it before replying,” Prince Fu demanded.

“Supreme Commander is already on his way ah. When he left he said he would be back very quickly ah.”

“Let me rephrase the question. Can you trust the words of Lou Zigui?”

Ning Xiaoyao was taken aback, “Why wouldn’t I trust him?” Prince Fu stood up again.

Ning Xiaoyao raised her head to look at Prince Fu. What’s wrong now?!

“An imperial edict asking for rescue troops had been issued for quite a number of days now.” Prince Fu took a few deep breaths and looked at Ning Xiaoyao.

“Yes, ah. What’s up?” Ning Xiaoyao asked.

“The officials still haven’t arrived at several locations. Didn’t you know?” Prince Fu replaced her question with a question.

Ning Xiaoyao mindlessly replied, “Did something happen on the way?”

“Nothing happened ah!” Prince Fu wanted to shout again. Where was the intelligence this person had when fighting against Xie Wenyuan?! “These assholes just don’t want to come!!”

Ning Xiaoyao: …

“So this prince would like to ask you, can we trust Lou Zigui’s words?” Prince Fu bent over and peered at Ning Xiaoyao.

“Mhm,” Ning Xiaoyao nodded. If she didn’t trust Supreme Commander Lou, who else could she trust?!

“Then that’s fine,” Prince Fu straightened his back, “I’m not that scared if the Black Frost Cavalry arrives on time. I’ll stay to accompany you.”

When Ning Xiaoyao heard Prince Fu’s words, she wasn’t touched at all. If he stays, she would have to care for another person. That’s just more work for her ah!

“Your Majesty ah…” Prince Fu still wanted to say something else to Ning Xiaoyao. Just then, loud shouts could be heard from outside the palace room, stopping Prince Fu from completing his sentence. 

 “Your Majesty,” Shadowgale ran into the palace room and lowered his voice, “The Northern Hu and rebel forces have arrived at the capital.”

Prince Fu knew that this day would eventually come but when actually receiving the news, he helplessly fell back onto a chair. “Let’s go to the city gate tower.” Ning Xiaoyao stood up from the chair.

“Wait wait,” Prince Fu forced himself to follow suit, “I’ll follow.”

The streets of the capital were incredibly quiet. If not for a few pedestrians crossing the street, the capital would seem as a deserted city. Ning Xiaoyao had yet to arrive at the north city gate tower when Pei Yan appeared at the junction with a battalion of troops, right in front of her.

Ning Xiaoyao looked at the streets around her and lamented, “It’s empty.”

“Those who can leave have already left. The common people are very thankful for Your Majesty.”

Ning Xiaoyao pursed her lips, “Those who follow me will suffer from bad luck. Why would they still be thankful for me? Second Young Master, your joke is not funny ah.”

“If you didn’t let those people leave, would they be able to leave?” Prince Fu rolled his eyes at Ning Xiaoyao. The capital gates should be sealed during the war but the capital gates were opened till yesterday. Who knows how many hooligans could be hiding in the capital already?!

Ning Xiaoyao closed her mouth. If she says anything else, they’re going to start a fight. This uncle of hers keeps wanting to have a verbal war with her.

“Your Majesty, please,” Pei Yan gestured for Ning Xiaoyao to go first. Ning Xiaoyao pulled at her horse. This horse was sent from First Young Master Ning and he had named it Bujing. So, she had to give up on the name Little Ming.

After the time it took to burn an incense, the group went up the city gate tower.

Ning Xiaoyao stood at the city gate tower and looked into the distance. This army was way bigger than the one Grand Preceptor Xie had brought previously and even had battle flags and banners. Within a short time, the military tents outside the capital were set up one by one.

“How many people are there ah?” Ning Xiaoyao’s jaw dropped. Pei Yan pointed at the highest flag with an embroidered wolf’s head. “That’s the flag of the Northern Hu. Your Majesty, Modou is here.”

Ning Xiaoyao’s jaw dropped even further.

“Why didn’t anyone mention this earlier?!” Prince Fu immediately exploded. The Northern Hu have already made their way to the capital and no one knew that this was an army personally led by Modou?!?! 

“Luckily I decided to reinforce the city gate tower and build it higher!” Ning Xiaoyao closed her mouth and beamed gleefully.

Everyone else: …How could His Majesty still be cheerful right now?

“Your Majesty,’” While Ning Xiaoyao was observing the Northern Hu army camps, Chen Lu ran into the city gate tower. Under the gaze of everyone, he ran towards Ning Xiaoyao and lowered his voice, “The rebel forces have arrived at the southern gate.”

Prince Fu immediately had difficulty breathing. Spitting at the Northern Hu flag outside the capital walls, Ning Xiaoyao declared, “Let’s go to the south city walls to take a look. Don’t worry, ah! I have already sent people to reinforce and increase the height of all four walls around the capital. We don’t have to be afraid of cannons!” 

Everyone else: … None of them could celebrate with her.

The number of soldiers outside the south city walls were not less than the Northern Hu army. They also had innumerable military tents and were bearing banners and flags.

“Xiang!” Ning Xiaoyao pointed at the flag outside the capital, “Does that mean that Xiang Nong is here too!?”

“Yes,” Pei Yan nodded his head. Second Young Master Pei stood closely beside Ning Xiaoyao with his arm up to block her chest against any possible arrows and attacks.

“Everyone is here ah,” Ning Xiaoyao inhaled. Maybe this is a good thing? Emperor Ning thought with a brick in her hand. She could kill everyone this time, including Xiang Nong. Wouldn’t there be world peace then? (Author: Stop being delusional…)

Three bangs of explosion came from the rebel forces. A group of soldiers pushed out a cart and rushed towards the capital walls.

“Is the battle starting now?” Ning Xiaoyao frantically asked. Pei Yan pushed Ning Xiaoyao back, “Your Majesty should go downstairs now.”

“Fatuous ruler!” Just as Ning Xiaoyao was about to reject Pei Yan, a middle-aged man shouted from the bottom of the wall. “Eh?” Ning Xiaoyao hastily took a veil and covered her face and looked down from the city gate tower.

Everyone else: … Why do you need to hide your face?

“Great Lord,” a scholar-like person stood beside Xiang Nong and lowered his voice, “That veiled person wearing dragon robes should be Ning Yu.”

Xiang Nong’s appearance was not outstanding. He had coarse skin and average features. If he wasn’t wearing his battle armor atop a battle horse, he would look like a common farmer. “This person has a figure of a child,” Big Boss Xiang squinted and measured up Ning Xiaoyao on the tower before giving his opinion. 

“That is Xiang Nong, ah?” Ning Xiaoyao stood on the city gate tower and observed Xiang Nong as well, “I don’t think his looks can kill.” 

No one understood her words. What are looks that can kill?

“Fatuous ruler!” Xiang Nong pointed at Ning Xiaoyao and shouted, “Do you dare to go a round with me?”

Ning Xiaoyao rubbed her nose and scoffed, “Am I supposed to fight just because you say so? Who are you? What if I don’t want to come out? Are you going to fly here, ah?”

These were Emperor Ning’s first words to Xiang Nong. He nearly choked.

“Great Lord, don’t waste your words with the fatuous ruler,” the middle aged scholar-like man urged Xiang Nong. 

“You…” Ning Xiaoyao pointed at the middle aged man, “Niu Nanning, the number one dog-head military advisor of the rebel forces. What do you mean by don’t waste words on me ah? Can your Great Lord really fly?”

Advisor Niu: … Could this fatuous ruler actually read lips?!

“It’s not that I want to be rude ah, Big Boss Xiang,” Ning Xiaoyao acted as if she wanted to have a long discussion with Xiang Nong, “Why did you find this kind of questionable military advisor ah? Even after studying for over ten years, he still couldn’t pass the scholar examinations. Yet you still chose this fool? Of course, I can understand from the position of your military advisor. If he didn’t follow you, he would starve to death. Who asked him to be stupid ah?”

Advisor Niu felt like a thousand arrows were piercing his heart. It doesn’t matter who he follows now. He’ll always be reminded that he couldn’t pass the imperial examinations. That’s an eternal sorrow of a scholar. 

At this moment, Xiang Nong chuckled instead, “This is because the court is unfair. The government abuse one’s position for personal gain. What does this have anything to do with my military advisor?” 

“Oh?” Ning Xiaoyao countered, “Those walking down the road of rebellion are indeed different ah. You can even use idioms.” 

Xiang Nong growled, “Fatuous ruler…”

“Fatuous ruler your sis ah!” Ning Xiaoyao interrupted Xiang Nong and added, “You’re joining the Northern Hu to fight your own people. Do you have any shame? In the past, I thought you were manly and cool but now,” Ning Xiaoyao shook her head at Xiang Nong, “You’re just a traitor!” 

“Everyone should execute a fatuous ruler like you!” Xiang Nong blood boiled when he was accused as a traitor.

“Go screw yourself” Ning Xiaoyao laughed, “If you want to be the emperor, you can just say it directly. You don’t have to use big words to scare me. But, I still have to warn you. If I die, can you actually become the emperor? Isn’t the Northern Hu still here? Are the both of you going to fight to the death? Let me ask another question, which part of the Yongning are you going to hand over to the Northern Hu ah?”

“You!”

“Let’s discuss calmly. Don’t shout.”

“Even when your death is near…”

“Even if I die, can you live forever?” Ning Xiaoyao rolled her eyes at Xiang Nong.

“I’m not going to waste my time quarreling with you, fatuous ruler!” 

“Tsk,” Ning Xiaoyao smacked her lips, “Those are the words of a loser. You want to fight me ah? Come, fly up here.” Were these shameless words something the ruler of a country should say?! Big Boss Xiang was starting to wonder whether it was really Ning Yu standing up there.

“You don’t even dare to show your true face. How can you claim to be the ruler of the country?!” Advisor Niu finally opened his mouth. 

“I don’t feel like showing my face to you. You got a problem with that?” Ning Xiaoyao squinted at the individual again. She heard from Grandfather Sparrow that Advisor Niu was the one who convinced Xiang Nong to join hands with Grand Preceptor Xie. Ning Xiaoyao had no good impression of him at all, “You’re so stupid,” Ning Xiaoyao scorned, “Is this the time to worry about how I look? F*cked up thinking.”

Advisor Niu couldn’t say anything in return.

After seeing that their own military advisor didn’t have the skills to engage in a verbal battle, the soldiers had terrible expressions. Their advisor was too useless!!

“I heard you studied for over ten years. Why couldn’t you pass the imperial examinations then?” Ning Xiaoyao continued to be savage, “Xiang Nong used to work in the fields so I could give him excuses. But Advisor Niu, I’m not going to give you excuses. Can you recite the Three Character Classic?”

“Fatuous ruler!!!!” Advisor Niu hollered at the top of his lungs.

“How is that the Three Character Classic?” Ning Xiaoyao shook her head, “If you can’t recite, can you count? Three Character Classic ah, Three Character Classic. It should be three words ah. How can you be an advisor with such a useless brain?” 

The people below the city gate tower: …Damn it, what if they want to laugh?

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LOLLLL this chapter is so funny!! I love it! HAHAHAHAHA. Chai assisted me with this chapter. It is sooooo good. XD Thank you to my Chaiiiii. Chaiiiii, Hiiiiiii. lol 

Note: The upcoming chapters are not going to be as funny. In fact, we might have an angry army in the comments... 

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