Doomed to be Cannon Fodder

Hey readers! 

Wonderful news! Bone Painting Coroner is back!!! Our EXCEPTIONAL novel lead, Choufleur, will be releasing 3 chapters a week, between Friday to Sunday!! The BPC team has been gradually expanding so that they can post more frequently. So don't be surprised to see a few new names!   

Ji Yunshu was an outstanding anthropologist who was transmigrated into the body of a mistreated young girl. To survive in her new circumstances, she could only rely on her wits and the knowledge she had accumulated in her...

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Index
Chapter 61: Punishment, Supporting Male Visits a Patient
Chapter 62: Clever, Jiaoyue Hides His Feelings
Chapter 63: The Lin Family’s Gifts of Gratitude
Chapter 64: Borrowing Someone, Strategically Asking Old Madame For Help
Chapter 65: The Little White Bunny Will Be Eaten Sooner or Later
Chapter 66: Demanding a Person, Strategically Asking Old Madame
Chapter 67: The Fatty Meat Flies Away Right Before Eating
Chapter 68: Dishes－Sour, Sweet, Bitter, Spicy
Chapter 69: Friendly, Getting Along Harmoniously
Chapter 70: A Little Drink of Wine

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Notes

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You can also send an e-mail if your fanfic is on here, and it is not credited to you, if you prefer to stay anonymous, or update the author info.

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Chapter 61: Punishment, Supporting Male Visits a Patient^top

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By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Bai Xiangxiu has pushed the wrong button on Long Heng...

Roleplay is shelved for future kinky play on his head.

Bai Xiangxiu: *Stare* lately the Prince is behaving oddly, I wonder why?

Long Heng: Yes, mistress?

Bai Xiangxiu: ?!!!

Long Heng: Uh... I mean-

Somewhere near...

Ye mama: Ho ho... so master has the same fetish as my second husband, ai! I have to teach Madame Bai some techniques to cope with master's taste.

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By Dudoom (@disqus_yTvvGB556n)

LH : Shu'er!

Shu'er : I'm here, Master!

LH : Gouge his eyes out!

Shu're : Yes, Master! Eh?

LH : How dare she stare at another man! When you get the chance secrectly kill him!

Shu'er : ....

LH : *tsk* I might as well lock her up in her room so no one can see her (mumble)

Shu'er : ....

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By Diantha (@disqus_d1qqNPsbkr)

BX: *needlework to calm my nerves, needlework to calm my nerves...why the hell is he always around? Does he plan to move in?*

LH: *being hypnotized (again) by her focused face and tries to touch it*

BX: *freaks out and pricks him with the needle* I am SO dead this time!!

LH: *stares at her with fiery eyes*

BX: Oh no, here goes. He is angry!

LH: "Again"

BX: "........what?" *stares at him incredulously*

LH: T-that s-stare...

~Is it getting hot in here?~

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By Erogami (ShipMaker) (@erogami)

Later that day...

LH : this prince want you to stare at me like you did to that old man liu.

BX : ..........

BX stared at LH with strange eyes and felt anxious inside. ' what shoul I do?! The prince broke! ' Albeit different, LH smiled. He felt his body grew hotter being stared by BX.

The two didn't notice the near ye mama and shu'er. They couldn't hear what they say but they could see that LH was in good mood. He was even smiling!

Ye mama : good! They are getting closer. Old madame, the day you can hold your grandchild is near!

Shu'er : ......why do this scene feel strange?

Alternative by Jun Huang Yuuko (@JunHuangQ)

LH and BX staring at each other. One was smiling happily and one was staring with a weird look on her face.

Shu'er : thinks to himself* : whats with this weird couple doing again? Sighs.

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Chapter 62: Clever, Jiaoyue Hides His Feelings^top

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By Erogami (ShipMaker) (@erogami)

LH who originally fled the scene accidentally stumbled on the scene. Seeing his friend, SJ, touching BX, he felt the urge to cut SJ arms. He rushed and took BX from SJ. By the sudden appearance of his friend, SJ felt awkward and surprised.

Awkward being seen too close to his friend's concubine and surprised because LH action. His friend, who dislikes female, was gently carrying BX. After knowing what happened from xiao shi, he felt a little better but his urge was still there.

LH : thanks for helping her.

SJ : no, it was nothing.

After thanking SJ, LH carried BX to the winter garden, leaving SJ behind. But he stopped after a few step.

LH : ......next time, don't touch her so casually.

Without looking LH said that with cold tone. SJ was surprised but it quickly changed to sorrow. ' so he loves her. ' thinking that, an image of LH and BX together and being lovey dovey appeared in his mind. He felt regret and sorrow chrushing his heart. SJ was in pain while LH was fighting his urge to devour the meal in his arms.

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Chapter 63: The Lin Family’s Gifts of Gratitude^top

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By Rabbit the Hooded (rbbt) (@disqus_disW3oT8U8)

BX: D-does it hurt darling?

LH: *somehow my leg feels cured*

BX: Poor Huo'er, I'll never hurt you anymore...

LH: ...

That night LH went to drink with SJ.

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By Jun Huang Yuuko (@JunHuangQ)

LH: give it to Sir Song.

BX: tears up* (இ﹏இ`｡)

SJY: ...

LH: cough*cough*

BX: still tearing up.

SJY: i think, its best to leave the plant here. We don't know how to take care of this afterall.

BX: nodding while sniffing and hiccupping.

LH: thinks to himself- cute.

Ye mama: runs to old madame* madame, now I know your grand baby bun is still not being put into oven! Your highness is bullying ne Bai instead of being lovey dovey. We should hire some escort to teach him as well.

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By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

And so... not only Long Heng get jealous of servants she had been kind to, the object of his jealousy get to bottom line, a cactus....

(ಠ益ಠ) Jii...

Huou'er: Ooo mistress~ he is going to kill Huo'er! (´Д｀)

Bai Xiangxiu: *sweat* uhm, prince... are you alright? *watering Huo'er with love*

Long Heng: I am fine. *Somehow looking at how much she loves that pin cushion irritates me*

Huo'er: Mistress, I am so scared!!! ⊂（ﾟДﾟ⊂

Later...

Long Heng: You're experienced man, aren't you? Brother Song?

Song Jiaoyue: Well, compare to you I suppose I am... trouble in inner court?

Long Heng: Not quite, it's just... a concubine of mine pays more attention to this spiky plant of hers.

Song Jiaoyue: ...

Long Heng: I can't help but feel annoyed, she even names it. You'd think it's her children. *What about ours we would have in the future?* it worries me.

Song Jiaoyue: I am sorry, but I don't know how to help you... usually men won't be so possessive like you they even get jealous over a plant.

Meanwhile...

Old Madame: What do you mean my son thinks a plant is his rival for nee Bai?

Ye Mama: Well, madame... I have seen jealous man's glare and he is aiming it at Mistress Bai's ugly plant.

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By Jipan (@disqus_5Bv28f49Fq)

LH: JIIIIIIIIII ಠ_ಠ

Huo'er:...

LH: JIIIIIIIIII ಠ_ಠ

Huo'er: ⊙﹏⊙

LH: JIIIIIIIIII ಠ_ಠ

Huo'er: mistress.... Help... ಢ_ಥ

LH: JIIIIIIIIII ಠ_ಠ

BX: I'm afraid too... (╥﹏╥)

That day Huo'er understand the feeling of fear.

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Chapter 64: Borrowing Someone, Strategically Asking Old Madame For Help^top

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By Rabbit the Hooded (rbbt) (@disqus_disW3oT8U8)

SJ's room:

SJ: I can't stand this, this plant smells too much like her.

Huo 'er: ...

SJ: *mumbles* No way, sniffing it made me horny...

Prince manor:

Huo 'er: What does horny mean?

BX: ...

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By Jipan (@disqus_5Bv28f49Fq)

LH: I'M MAD! ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

Everyone: >.<

LH: ~~ Rooooar ~ ┗|｀o′|┛

Old Madame: Quick! Send BX!

BX: ộ_ộ

LH: So MOE!!! ♥‿♥

Everyone: fiuuuh.... Disaster mitigated

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By Jun Huang Yuuko (@JunHuangQ)

🎵🎵 mistress mistress watcha doin? 🎵🎵

🎶 🎤 Is it fun hiding hiding ?🎤🎶

🎼🎵 mister big bad wolf loves eating 🎵🎼

🎶🎶 Ye mama what are you planning?🎶🎶

🎤📣 old madame is sooo... helping🎤📣

😬😬LH: someone's always 🐓blocking!! 😬😬

📚📒readers: sexy time keep going 📒📚

🎵🎵 author: i just love to keep trolling🎵🎵😂

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By Diantha (@disqus_d1qqNPsbkr)

Meanwhile...:

Prince Manor:

LH: Don't bother me. I am busy trying to catch an elusive rabbit.

Ye Mama: don't worry, prince! I instructed the other servants to put her potted plants all over. She could not possibly harm them, thus has to evade and slow down!

LH + Ye Mama: *High five*

Lin Manor:

Mama Lin: You can't let her marry that beast! Look at my darling! She is ungrateful and irrational, just like me. She deserves THE BEST!!

Minister Lin: Yes, dear. But a little bit of guilt is also with our daughter...

Mama Lin: THE BEST!

Minister Lin: ...Yes, dear.

Song Manor:

SJ: *drank too much wine...again and confesses his love to Little Huo'er as a proxy* "Ah, Miss Bai! Miss Bai! If I weren't as cowardly as a duck, I would have taken you and flown away! Ah, Miss Bai, your eyes are as beautiful as the moon, illuminating what would be trapped in the pitch black of the night without you. Wuwuwuwuwu. Even thinking of your heavenly body...Long Heng is jealous of your cactus, but I am even more pitiable! I even envy the clothes that are able to touch you...wuwuwu...

Prince Manor:

Huo'er: *blushes furiously*

BX: Oh no, I really hurt him! *stops in her tracks*

....

LH: "Got you."

BX: *gulp*

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By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Ye Mama: Despite my best intention, old madame deemed it dangerous for Prince to get *ahem* experienced male servant.

Long Heng: ...Why?

Ye Mama: If you see how the courtyards arranged my prince, Old madame make sure the prettiest (Mistress Xiu) is the most corner because you're inexperienced and thus... *ahem* easily corruptible.

Long Heng:...Does mufei think I am still a child? *No wonder her place is so damn far from mine*

Ye Mama: But! Desperate situation needs desperate measure so *here* the holy book *Toss Kamasutra to Long Heng*

Long Heng: *began to read* Hooo... this is enlightening.

Meanwhile

Bai Xiangxiu: *shudder*

Xiao Shi: Mistress, even if Huo'er needs his sunbath I think the weather is too cold to open the window.

Bai Xiangxiu: I am fine, I just feel like... *A prey who sense a predator eyeing me*

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Chapter 65: The Little White Bunny Will Be Eaten Sooner or Later^top

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By Jun Huang Yuuko (@JunHuangQ)

LH: did you come here to soothe benwang?

BX: ah.. .madame said to- ahh!

LH lifting BX up like a princess, ye mama starts to follow but received a "I'm angry right now i need some space - with BX " glare.

Ye mama: thought to herself: good luck ne Bai.

BX: I- i will come back next time. Since I'm injured i will go back to my courtyard and treat my injury.

LH looks at the wiggling concubine. Ignores the wiggling concubine, head straight to his own courtyard. Ye mama sneakily chase out all the servants.

LH: No this benwang will examine you myself.

BX: (why do i feel like this examination is suspicious...)

LH: you are always injured and fainting! I must conduct a thorough examination * removes BX outer robe * hmm, nothing shows but we must never judge a book by its cover!

BX: Your highness, your using idioms wrong-

LH removing his outer robe* W-Why are you removing your clothes your highness?

LH : this is my own manor, i must be comfortable so i can treat you better. *removing BX inner robe*

BX: y-your highness. Did you hear that?

LH: don't mind it. Its just the labored breathing of the readers. 💨💨

BX: Y-Your highness Kyahhhhh!!!

And the servants, ye mama and old madame giggling all day.

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By Fantasy Magician (@fantasymagician)

Bai Xiangxiu: Sob! Sob! Why am I winning Prince's favor? I am not trying to get eaten by him! What did female lead do?

Huo'er: Mistress, Huo'er don't understand human's affair but mistress didn't run away and help around the house!

Bai Xiangxiu: I just don't want to get killed, and it's just make sense to do my job properly!

Huo'er: And mistress is very pretty!

Bai Xiangxiu: ...the Prince is not a superficial man.

Huo'er: When mistress is out, Huo'er heard everything!

Bai Xiangxiu: Eh?

Huo'er: Mistress is very kind to everyone so he likes you *Huo'er is happy when other like mistress*

Bai Xiangxiu: *blushes*

Huo'er: He also say Mistress is very soft... like peeled boiled egg *Huo'er never see boiled egg though*

Bai Xiangxiu: *froze* Eh? *

Huo'er: And also... Mistress have amazing assets! What assets?

Bai Xiangxiu: #$%^&*((()&^&%^!!!

Xiao Shi: *Come back from brewing some tea* Mistress Xiu? What's wrong?

Bai Xiangxiu: *Red faced* Xiao Shi... these things is too versatile.

Xiao Shi: Mistress! What are you doing! Don't wrap them up like that!

Bai Xiangxiu: It troubles me! *Especially in era without bra!*

Xiao Shi: Mistress, other woman would kill to have your wonderful body!

Bai Xiangxiu: Exactly! It's death flag!!!

………………………………………………………..

Huo'er:

Huo'er: Mistress... Huo'er was scared, Huo'er thought the scary man was killing you last night!

Bai Xiangxiu: Eh-eh *blushed furiously* You saw?!

Huo'er: Huo'er didn't see anything but Mistress screams woke Huo'er up! The strange noise scare Huo'er too!

Bai Xiangxiu: Uhm...uhm just forget it! Forget!

Huo'er: *confused* And the smell is also strange.

Bai Xiangxiu: Uwaaa... *flail like a duck in panic*

Huo'er: Huo'er don't like the smell of sweat and-

Bai Xiangxiu: No! No! No!

Ye Mama: *spying* It seems Mistress Xiu is still fantasizing about her first night. Good!

Xiao Shi: Aah, when can I hold Mistress' baby?

Ye Mama: Looking from how enthusiastic Prince Li this morning, I'd say pretty soon. Old Madame would be overjoyed...

Xiao Shi: Ooooh...

Huo'er: Bird and bees? Huo'er don't grow flower yet for bee and bird don't like Huo'er.

Bai Xiangxiu: *I have to remember moving Huo'er out of the room next time.*

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