Chapter 6: The Wager

Keyboard Immortal

Zu An stared at her tiny, pale little fist. Yet again, he was beginning to doubt the meaning of life itself.

“Honestly, there’s no point in me personally beating up someone as weak as you.” Chu Huanzhao suddenly whistled towards the outside. “C’mere, Bootlicker!”

Zu An was puzzled. Huh? How could such a young girl have bootlickers following her around? Are the men of this world really such pansies?

“WOOOOOF!”

Upon hearing a ferocious barking sound coming from afar, Zu An quickly realized that he had misunderstood. So her ‘bootlicker’ was actually a dog! But honestly, what type of name is that? Heh, heh, heh. Seems like weird names is a forté of this family. [1]

Moments later, his smirk quickly vanished. A panther-sized creature had suddenly bounded inside, and it was now staring at him with its oily green eyes. Okay, this thing is technically shaped like a dog, but… it is way too freakin’ huge!

“Be a good boy, Bootlicker!” Chu Huanzhao squatted down to rub the monster’s head, and as she did so the beast wagged its tail joyfully. Clearly, it was enjoying the process.

Zu An couldn’t help but gulp as he stared at the massive beast in front of him. “You call this thing a dog?!” Blood was still leaking from the corner of the creature’s mouth. Finally, he realized why he had heard chewing sounds coming from outside earlier.

“Scared now?” Chu Huanzhao let out a series of diabolical laughs, then pointed straight at him. “Bootlicker, bite him! Bite him hard!”

Upon hearing the command, the huge dog instantly leapt towards Zu An in a very smooth manner. Clearly, this wasn’t its first rodeo.

Zu An was almost scared witless when he saw that giant bloody maw fly towards him. If I let this huge thing bite me, I’ll probably lose an arm! What scared him the most was, he knew just how deadly rabies could be. Who knew what sort of deadly viruses the dog’s drool contained? This world didn’t have rabies shots. If he was infected, he’d be doomed.

And besides, the beast had just eaten a few rats alive. Maybe it was now carrying some rat plagues!

Zu An’s body reaction even faster than his mind. He frantically leapt to one side. The dog landed atop the chair next to the bed, and it instantly shattered into countless pieces.

Oh my sweet Lord Almighty… Zu An was pretty sure that his body wasn’t as tough as that chair. He frantically began to flee. His original plan was to run next to Chu Huanzhao and hide behind her, as she had already promised she wouldn’t beat him up personally… but the little girl had already run outside the room. She was now watching his misfortunes from a nearby window with a look of delight on her face. Even worse, she had shut the door behind her!

In his mind, Zu An cursed her and her relatives a thousand times over as he began to run in circles around the table. There was no way he could outspeed that huge dog, so all he could do was repeatedly run in circles around the furniture to keep away from it.

The dog was simply too damn big, so big it couldn’t simply go underneath the table and reach him that way. This was the only reason Zu An was still safe.

Alas, his body was weak to begin with, and just earlier today it had been hit by lightning. Seconds ago, it had been punched as well. After just a few minutes, Zu An felt as though his lungs were about to explode. Several times earlier, he had sensed a cold sensation from the back of his head, as though an enormous maw had emitted its foul-smelling breath just inches away from him. He was running on pure willpower right now.

Actually, it was already quite surprising that he had managed to last for this long. It was most likely thanks to him training in the [Phoenix Nirvana Sutra], which had slightly increased his physical strength. The problem was that he had just started training in it a very short while ago; there was no way for him to actually use it to overcome this huge, ferocious beast.

“You dumb mutt! Why do you have to chase him around the table? Just leap over the damn thing!” The young lady watching outside stamped her feet in displeasure. Her voice, normally crisp and pleasant, now sounded like the exhortations of demons.

The huge dog seemed to understand its master’s words. It let out a loud howl, then leapt upwards and began to clamber across the table towards Zu An.

Zu An frantically lifted up the entire table, using it to defend against the dog. However, the dog’s enormous head almost instantly smashed straight through the table and chomped straight at him. Thankfully, the rest of the dog’s body was stuck behind the table, while Zu An himself was now lying on the ground and frantically kicking at the dog’s belly. At this critical moment, he squeezed out every drop of strength he had in him. Alas, the difference in power was simply too vast; the dog’s head was moving closer and closer to him.

A foul odor swept across Zu An as giant gobs of doggy saliva splattered across his face. The dog continued to scratch furiously at the table, tearing through it like wet paper. By now, the table was filled with multiple holes.

Zu An’s heart turned cold as he saw how dagger-sharp the dog’s teeth and claws were. I’m gonna get killed by a dog. Damn, I’m a disgrace to all transmigrators.

Wait a second. Dagger? Suddenly, Zu An was hit by a flash of inspiration. He thought of the Poisonous Prick he had won. He frantically pressed ‘B’ on the keyboard, summoning it forth from the item bar. Just as it appeared in his hand, the table finally gave up the ghost and shattered apart completely. The dog’s massive mouth clamped down towards him… and it just so happened to bite the dagger.

Given that the dog’s name was ‘Bootlicker’, it naturally loved to lick random objects. Bootlicker almost reflexively gave the dagger a lick, causing a tiny wound to appear on the tip of its tongue. And then… a series of strange, ashy black runes instantly appeared across the surface of its entire body. It trembled once, then fell down to the ground, not a hint of life remaining.

“It actually died?” Zu An let out a sigh of relief. Right now, he was completely spent. He just lay there on the ground, unable to move so much as a finger.

“Bootlicker! What’s wrong?!” Chu Huanzhao, watching from outside, was certain that her beloved dog was about to win… but then, all of a sudden, everything seemed to change. Completely confused, she immediately ran inside to take a look. Alas, no matter what she tried or said, the dog didn’t respond at all.

“How dare you kill my Bootlicker?!” Chu Huanzhao finally understood that her dog was dead, and she exploded with fury.

You have successfully trolled Chu Huanzhao for +233 Rage!

Zu An didn’t even have the energy to respond, but he did subconsciously transfer the Poisonous Prick back into his item bar. It was better to be safe than sorry, after all. Best keep it hidden unless absolutely necessary. Just now, the huge dog and the table had blocked the girl’s line of site. She probably didn’t see exactly what happened.

“You’ll pay for Bootlicker’s death!” Chu Huanzhao’s eyes were welling up with tears. Her parents were always busy with clan affairs, while her sister almost never stayed at home. She didn’t have many playmates in the estate; it could be said that Bootlicker was her only friend.

Suddenly, a tiny but furious foot came stomping down atop Zu An’s prone body.

+10 Rage! +10 Rage! +10 Rage! …

Zu An let out a muffled groan. He was simply too exhausted and unable to dodge. Thankfully, the foot landed on his buttocks. The fleshy parts just barely managed to cushion the blow.

Seeing him just lie there, Chu Huanzhao only grew even angrier. Suddenly, she drew the whip from her waist and, with a flick of her wrist, lashed him with it.

“AAAAAAAAAAH!” Zu An had been feeling completely powerless, but this strike was simply too painful, so painful that he actually sat up straight.

Chu Huanzhao let out a satisfied nod when she saw his ridiculous reaction. “Scared now? My sister was worried about others bullying me, so she found this weapon just for me. It’s called a ‘Wailing Whip’! It’ll amplify tenfold any pain my enemies feel! There’s no one who can withstand such pain.”

“Wailing Whip?” Zu An swallowed, hard. The name alone was proof that this was a nasty piece of work. Amplify pain tenfold? No wonder that hurt so much!

But what really surprised him was that single strike had apparently filled up the golden matter in his first formation by quite a bit. The increase was far greater than what he had gained from punching the stone wall. In fact, the first formation was almost full. It must’ve been from the combined damaged he had sustained from her punch and her kick.

This really is a bullshit technique! Zu An mentally cursed out the technique’s creator a thousand times over. That guy had to be a masochist of the highest order!

However, he was really curious as to what would happen once the formation was completely full. Judging from how much it had just filled up, a few more hits from the whip would probably do the trick.

But he couldn’t help but shudder when he recalled the literally soul-incinerating pain he had just suffered. A few more hits? He couldn’t even take a single hit more!

If it was just enduring some pain, that was one thing. The problem was, his body was simply too weak. He had been hit by lightning, then punched in the chest, then bit at by a dog. He felt as though he was about to expire at any moment. In fact, he strongly suspected that the next whip-strike would claim his life.

Chu Huanzhao, upon seeing him fall silent, was certain that he was now properly frightened. She didn’t continue to lash him. Instead, she said: “Hmph! Scared now, huh? If you kneel down and kowtow and apologize, then lick my shoes clean, maybe I’ll be in a good mood and spare your life.”

She arrogantly sat down on the chair, crossed her legs, then wiggled her feet at him. Her legs were actually quite long and slender. If this picture was posted online back in Zu An’s world, plenty of people would’ve left comments marveling at them.

“Patoey!” Zu An was enraged. There might be some perverts who would actually look forward to a chance like this, but not him!

Chu Huanzhao smirked. “It seems you have some spirit in you. How about this? Let’s make a wager.”

“What kind of wager?” Zu An was a bit nervous. This little sister-in-law of his was clearly a massive sadist. He had to be careful.

Chu Huanzhao waved her whip. “If you can take three hits of my whip without screaming in agony, I’ll no longer blame you for killing my Bootlicker. What do you say?”

A hint of excitement flashed through her eyes. No ordinary person could withstand the pain inflicted by a whip that amplified agony tenfold. The reason why she even offered this wager was to first give him hope, then give him despair. She wanted to see him struggle to control his pain, then fail to do so and let loose a howl of agony. Only then would the hatred in her heart be lessened.

She really is a pervert! Just as Zu An was about to refuse, yet another flash of inspiration struck him. He suddenly thought of the Ball of Delights he had won earlier. Back then, he had assumed it was useless gag reward, but it seemed to be perfect for the situation before him.

“Fine! I accept your wager!” Zu An said in a low voice. The only thing that worried him right now was, what if the keyboard’s description was unreliable? If the Ball of Delights didn't have the effect it purportedly had, he would be doomed.

“Wait a second! What if you lose?” Chu Huanzhao asked.

“What do you propose?” Zu An could almost swear that he saw two little horns emerging from the top of this little beauty’s head. She really did seem like a little demon.

A hint of inexplicable excitement flashed through Chu Huanzhao’s eyes. “If you lose, I’ll grant you the right to kneel down and lick my shoes.”

Zu An was speechless. Again with the licking? How did the Chu clan produce a pervert like you?! “That’s not fair, unless you also agree to lick my shoes if I win.”

Chu Huanzhao began to smirk. “You aren’t in a position to bargain. First, you have to make amends for killing my dog. If you want to make a bet about licking shoes, you’ll have to win this first bet.” In her heart, she didn’t think he stood the slightest chance.

“Fine!” Zu An was growing rather angry now as well. This little girl was simply too much of a freak. It was time for him to teach her the real meaning of the word freaky.

Just as Chu Huanzhao was about to start whipping, Zu An hurriedly said, “Wait a sec!”

Chu Huanzhao frowned. “Are you backing out?”

“Lemme grab some water first.” Zu An needed an opportunity to activate the Ball of Delights. Chu Huanzhao snorted, but didn’t stop him. She was in no rush.

While drinking some water, Zu An secretly called forth the Ball of Delights. He stared at the sparkling steel wool pad, then swallowed hard. So how am I supposed to use this thing? I don’t actually have to scrub myself… there, do I?

This item can be activated by scrubbing it against any part of your skin. These words suddenly appeared on the holographic screen, as though someone somewhere had heard his thoughts.

Zu An had no time to analyze things. Back towards Chu Yuanzhao, he quickly scrubbed his hand with the steel wool, at which point he noticed that an extra line of words had appeared beneath the Ball of Delights’ description on the screen.

Activation successful. For the next hour, any pain which a woman richer than you causes to you will instead be transformed into euphoria. Warning – this artifact will not actually lower the amount of damage you take. However, your life will be locked to your last drop of health when a rich woman inflicts otherwise-lethal damage to you.

Uses remaining: 2/3

Zu An wanted to curse it, but no longer had the strength to do so. This piece of garbage… not only is it almost useless, it’s not even unlimited usage?! Judging from the looks of it, he could only use it two more times. This keyboard was clearly devised by the most unscrupulous of fiends!

“Are you ready yet? Stop dawdling over there.” A dissatisfied voice rang out from behind him. Clearly, she was growing impatient.


1. In Chinese, the term ‘bootlicker’ is literally ‘licking dog’.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter